How long does it take for one's deadened heart to summon up some modicum of feeling again (a tempest of sorts brewing beneath the seeming calm), what would it take to break someone completely, what happens if you punish yourself over and over and eventually the pain seeps into everything you touch like a slow venom, what does it mean when you read a book and the words no longer pierce but float away without you comprehending, maybe if you close your eyes you could just vanish, it would be as if you'd never existed