Sunday, December 20, 2009


I love new experiences. When we get older, novel experiences are fewer and harder to come by. Once we experience something new, the next time, that thing loses its magic and we're no longer spellbound as before. Instead, we grow to expect the same old things happening all over again and the novelty wears off. We lose the childlike wonder that we once had.

The point is, I'll never forget my first experience of entering a nightclub and attending a gig! The waiting time was agonizing though. I was so mesmerized staring at the psychedelic strobe lights hanging from the ceiling, and every atom of my body seemed to be pulsating in time to the music.

Then, Lenka stepped onto the stage and it was worth the wait. We were wowed with her pitch perfect vocals and how cute and charming she was. It was an amazing feeling singing along with a bunch of strangers who loved Lenka too. She did a cover of the Cure's Friday I'm in love, which drove the older crowd wild.( anyway we Singaporeans are still pretty tame compared to our more spontaneous counterparts in the neighbouring countries) At the end, she sang acapella, with the world war 2 radio transmission crackling in the background. It was rather unsettling, as her mournful voice echoed throughout the room.

Watching her perform live made me adore her even more. She's like a modern day Peter Pan.
Her voice is so refreshingly unique and her songs are just the right mix of bubblegum and spice. Everything about her screams quirkiness: the way she pounds away at the keyboard and shakes her shoulders to the beat, the gorgeous cover art on her album, her original music videos, the beautifully decorated paper butterfly stuck on her keyboard...

Sound people

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

If I possessed any shred of self-preservation, I would have given up a long time ago. But I don't. And look where it's got me now.

I wish I could tell you how extraordinary I think you are.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Take a chance

I'll be the lyrics on the tip of your tongue as you lie staring up at the ceiling.
I'll be the quiet stillness of the early dawn.
I'll be the shadow of a dream you once had, the mortal delusion you are so reluctant to part with as you wake up.
I'll be the life buoy you cling on to when the waves are crashing over your helpless self.
I'll be the colours bleeding into one as you drink in the sunrise.
I'll be the song you hum under your breath as you journey forth.
I'll be the hidden back alleys you traverse through if you desire a change of scene.
I'll be your source of inspiration when your imagination fails you.
I'll be whoever you want me to be.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens up your chest and your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defences, you build up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt you.

Then one stupid person, no different from any other person, wanders into your stupid life.You give them a piece of you. They didn't as for it.They did something stupid one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you and leaves you crying in the darkness. So simple a phrase' Maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts,not just in the imagination, not just in the mind. It's a soul hurt, a real get-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love.

-The Sandman series by Neil Gaiman

Friday, July 10, 2009

What do you do when you are totally consumed by fear?

God, I am on my knees, begging for a miracle.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Nothing is ever as perfect as you want it to be

Sometimes the people closest to you say the words you dread the most to hear. Unwittingly, they tell you ugly truths about yourself, use words that wound you deeply. One part of you longs to cover your ears and block out what they're saying, say equally hurtful things just to spite them back, do anything to make them stop. Because you hate to admit that there's some truth to what they're saying, even though it doesn't make you feel good about yourself. Unsaid somehow, it remains untrue.

Don't hate them for saying it.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

You're the city lights, all by yourself

The dancing tongues of fire draw you closer and closer to its deadly heat like a magnet, until you're mesmerized, transfixed by the strange and terrible beauty of the scorching fire. You think to yourself,"We are all slaves of what we desire."

Oblivious to the warnings, you slowly reach out and touch the flickering flames, forgetting that the consequences will be dire if you do such a reckless thing. For one second, you feel oddly euphoric, and then, a cry of pain escapes from your lips as the leaping flames sear your fingertips- a sweet, twisted agony. As the saying goes, once bitten, twice as shy. You are no exception to that rule, so you hastily withdraw, tending to your wounds and vowing never to become sucked into the irresistible pull of the flames again.

I wish.. no. I'm wishing for the impossible.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Big Fish

The film Big Fish centres around Edward Bloom, a dreamer and a charmer from a small town, and his son, William Bloom. What makes Edward Bloom so extraordinary is his knack of telling stories.Tall tales are spun, ranging from the fanciful to the downright bizarre, until everyone who knows him is spellbound by his stories and adventures. Except for his son, that is. Ever the skeptic, he stubbornly refuses to believe in the stories, and constantly demands for Edward to tell the truth. In a way, William cannot see who his father really is, underneath the glittering, distracting facade of his stories. Finally, as his father lies on his deathbed, he learns to appreciates the tales and myths surrounding him, because they are a part of his father. In the end, Edward Bloom transforms into a sort of legend himself.

Magical and charmingly captivating, this film boasts visually stunning cinematic sequences that will leave the audience completely enthralled. Thanks to the influence of filmmaker Tim Burton, there is an otherworldly, mystical, wondrously fantastical quality to the film.  With his easy grin, Ewan McGregor commands the screen, with just the right amount of charm and confidence without coming across as arrogant. Helena Bonham Carter, too, was compelling in her role as Jenny, the woman from the town of Spectre.

 Ultimately, it's a film with a big heart, and it'll leave you laughing, crying, and simply moved, all at the same time.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Dreams are just empty, insubstantial vessels, a mere means of raising one's hopes and then crashing back down to the harsh reality once more. They may be so perfect, yet fragile and unattainable at the same time. It's impossible to chase after dreams, to catch them, to call them your own.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

"We are all time bombs and angels, poisons and antidotes, question marks and commas, and it suits me just fine"

Everyday as I travel to school, an endless stream of unfamiliar faces pass me by. Sometimes, it gets too close for comfort, having those strangers pressed so tightly against me as they try to squeeze into a train cabin that is packed to maximum capacity. Their sombre expressions often leave me fervently wishing I were somewhere else. A smile would be nice. But this is the cold, harsh reality of city life - almost everyone seems to caught up in the rat race to bother about each other, even though it wouldn't kill them to mouth a hello. Sometimes, our eyes will meet, and we'll coolly appraise each other. Then the staring gets uncomfortable, and we quickly avert our gazes, turning away and retreating into back into our own private world. They fiddle with their smartphones and plug their earphones in- whatever it takes to make them look preoccupied. Maybe it's their self-defense mechanism or security blanket.. I don't know.

These people come and go. I could be trying to memorize a person's features, noticing that she wears a pair of blue earrings, that she has a tiny mole above her left eyebrow. Before I know it, the train doors open and she's swept up in the crowd which is frantically trying to jostle their way out. And it's as if I have amnesia or something, so quickly does my brain dismiss her features. She becomes faceless once more, just like any other stranger I encounter.

The train station is a fascinating place, once you learn to look past the faces of these people, and see what lies beneath. Every single one of them has a story to tell, be it sad, funny, captivating, scandalous or plain silly.

They could be broken inside. They could have loved and lost someone. They could be empty inside, lost, purposeless, without a faith to anchor them down. They could be struggling to cope with so much hurt, that it'd take months, years maybe, to fix them. They could be weary of life, too drained to even trudge to work. They could be brimming with secret hopes and seemingly impossible dreams, like being a world renowned pastry chef, an astronaut at NASCAR, or an award winning playwright. They could be a child at heart, longing for just the simple pleasures of life like blowing bubbles and sitting on the swings. They could be your soulmate, the person you've been searching for your entire life, and they're just there, right in front of you. They could be cheating on their spouses back home. They could be scared, self-conscious and painfully awkward. They could be amazing, beautiful people on the inside and out. They could be thinkers. They could be jaded and cynical, refusing to believe in a thing like hope. They could be at war within themselves.They could be unspeakably lonely. They could be blissfully happy without a care in the world.

They could be you and me. Because deep down, we're all the same.

What kind of person are you?

Sunday, June 21, 2009

stream of consciousness

Waiting (what's new. I'm always early and no one is ever there) This is me trying to make sense of the world. It would be nice to get a taste of heaven-wait scratch that, please. don't even cling on to that faint hope don't torture yourself, wishing and waiting never gets you anywhere; right now I'm teetering precariously on the edge, one slip is all it would take to plunge headlong back down into the abyss; a sea of strangers scurrying past on a crowded platform-a reflection of city life. somehow the image is poignant and it makes me want to weep; everyone has their battles with inner demons, razor blades parting your hair crimson red; so tired. take me somewhere strange and foreign where every day will be an adventure, give me an escapism pill I need something to delude myself with; iridescent butterflies dance across my vision so mesmerising and unattainable I'll settle for a smile then; it's been twenty minutes already what's taking them so long? time is ticking down oh so slowly it's agonising I can already memorise the cracks and patterns on the granite floor; the trees whisper their apologies and oh there they are don't be afraid now just put on your mask and you'll be safe no one will ever know what lies beneath this facade

After so many years of adamantly refusing to create a blog, well, here I am, with one of my own. I've always thought that's it's risky to wear your heart on your sleeve. I'm someone who's fiercely private, and I'd much rather keep my thoughts to myself, thank you very much.

I usually pour my emotions and thoughts down on paper. Of course, a journal isn't as visually appealing as compared to a blog, but I love doing so anyway. The act of carefully pressing my pen against a blank, white sheet of paper somehow strikes me as more sincere.

I don't know why but I suddenly have this irrational urge to tell the world who I am, to give them a piece of myself. So here goes..